Snow Days

12 02 2014

silently falling from the sky
small globes flutter down
on your head and at your feet
it’s everywhere, it’s snow

like a blanket
it covers everything
soft like cotton
yet cold like night

the flow of life stops
frozen in time
but under the sun
it melts away

you can change its shape
to your heart’s content
as a ball to throw
or into man to stand

it can be anything you imagine
it’s simply magical
yet under the sun
it melts away

in time it’ll disappear
it fades away
and under the sun
it melts away

Snowy Night





Hibernation is Almost Over

15 01 2014

I may not be a bear or rodent but it feels like I was hibernating. Winter is still here and it’s still kind of cold, but I think I’m done hibernating. Felt like I’ve went into this limbo-like state where life was slowing down for me. It’s not like time was slowing down, but I guess nothing was really happening. Admittedly I feel most of this is my fault.

Bear Hibernation

I say a lot of things and fail to act upon my words. I do a lot of hand waving hoping that I don’t have to do anything and things kind of fall into place. But life isn’t like that. I mean sure, for some things the road is already paved and is straight forward. But not all things are that simple. For me it seems like there is no road, that the trees in this forest are blocking most of the sun out. Each step is harder than the next, you feel tired and somewhat lost. And if I sit to rest bit, it seems as if hours or days have passed.

I guess I did stop and did find a place to rest for a bit. It was comfortable enough and so I was content for a long period of time. But time waits for no one. Now I’ve started to open my eyes and see that the forest has grown denser so it is much harder to walk through. The trees have completely blocked out the sun so there’s no indication of night or day. And I can’t make out the direction I came from… so I don’t know if I’m heading backwards or forwards or nowhere. But I know I want to be more than just content.

I guess this is the one good thing of getting lost…

Not till we are lost, in other words not till we have lost the world do we begin to find ourselves, and realize where we are and the infinite extent of our relations.
-Henry David Thoreau





Heroes and Dragons

24 10 2013

Two Headed Dragon

in these modern times of motorized vehicles and cyberspace
it doesn’t seem there is strife or conflict
but in actuality there’s always a battle being fought
there still lies a dragon that threatens our humanity

some may think that we live in a time of tranquility and peace.
but the battle between man and beast constantly arises
for sometimes we get lost and lose our way
we lose ourselves and become shells of our former selves

when we lose sight of what’s to come
all we see is the shadow of a beast from the darkness within
and we watch it grow and feed on our own fears and despair
sometimes it seems utterly hopeless to live on

but when there’s darkness in your heart
there’s an extraordinary opportunity for the light to burn brighter
for we’re our own dragons as well as our own heroes
so we have to rescue ourselves from ourselves

no matter what there are always dragons lurking about
and therefore there are still heroes in this world
thus there are always stories to be written
to be written and told





Sometimes We Get Lost

4 07 2013

sometimes we get lost in this thing called life
we forget where we’re going
and worst of all, where we have already been
this is when history repeats…
past successes, as well as past mistakes

we slowly wander off course
and stray away from the destination
losing sight of what was before us
heading down head first
into an inevitable crash

when you’re lost, you become unsure of yourself
and each decision is second guessed
not only by yourself, but by others around you…
it was so hard to gain their trust
but so easy to lose it

your own confidence withers away
easily seen in the day-to-day tasks you were skilled at
for everyone gets weak when they hesitate
your own perseverance to carry on seems to have disappeared
leaving doubt and anxiety towards the future

who do you trust if you can’t trust yourself
who do you follow if there’s no one to follow
what do you believe in if everything seems like a lie
what do you do when you’re lost
what do you do…

Lost in a Maze





A Little Chaos Never Hurt Nobody Right?

18 06 2013

Past few weeks have definitely had an element of chaos in them. One thing is at work, rest of my team went on vacation leaving me there to hold down the fort. The amount of tasks to do is rather overwhelming while the rest of my team is away. I mean, I knew they were going on vacation and tried to mentally prepared myself for more work… but I guess that wasn’t enough. I just need to hang on for this week and then my coworkers will be back. Plus it’ll be less lonely around my side of the office (I guess technically I could go wander to the other side… but that requires effort).

Besides work, the day-to-day grind at home is really wearing my patience. I’ve been saying I want to move out of my parent’s house for a while now… but still I’ve failed to do anything. I don’t know if it’s out of my own laziness or out of being worried about the rest of my family. At home family members could use my presence to maintain general day-to-day things. It’s mainly because my brother is mentally ill and my dad is getting old/forgetful. Feels like I have this morale family obligation to stick around… although I know it isn’t doing me personally any good (at least for my sanity).

In other news, the world of video games finally has some good news. Sony 1-upping Microsoft with their video on sharing games was pretty priceless. I’m pretty sure I’ll be getting a PS4 in the future, at this point mainly for FFXV (formerally known as FF Versus XII) and KH3 (and hopefully Disgaea 5 whenever that gets announced).

Also Dota2 is getting released on Steam by Valve before TI3 (the International 3, Valve’s 3rd official Dota 2 tournament) is rather exciting. I’ve been playing Dota since the WC3 UMS days with the v5.84b map… so that’s like end of 2004; 9 years?. It’s rather exciting for me to see a game like this evolve so much while standing the test of time. A little Dota history lesson.

Also I’m looking forward to the Deadpool game coming out next week on 6/25. I’m so expecting to be trolled hard (hopefully Disgaea level trolling). To be honest though, I’m not exactly sure what type of game this is going to be; FPS, (Action) RPG, strategy, or is it its own genre: the Deadpool genre?
Deadpool Game Cover





Baking Cookies

14 04 2013

what I really crave is to eat really tastiest cookies
so I spend the afternoon getting the perfect recipe
and after a fashion I have the recipe
and to the kitchen I go to bake
making the dough as instructed
some flour, butter, eggs and sugar
also baking soda, salt and vanilla extract
and of course: chocolate chips
mixed all together and now into the oven
finally the kitchen timer rings done
and I take out my hard earned work
only to taste disappoint
my expectations far from met
and I’m left with ordinary chocolate chip cookies
what went wrong?
is this my just deserts?

Chocolate Chip Cookies





Let the Ninja Training Beginning!

24 02 2013

My parkour training begins anew again. I say again, because I was trying some years ago when I got out of college… but laziness+new-job got in the way (well, it’s actually mainly laziness). So gotta go back to the basics… running, pushups, situps, pullups, etc. I definitely don’t think I’m going to get to David Belle’s or Sébastien Foucan’s level… that’s really not what I set out to be (although would be awesome if I could get to that level like in this movie). But I just want to be enough to be a sneaky urban ninja.

I definitely need to get back into shape, especially on my running endurance. My endurance always sucked (I was a short distance runner type person in school) so I think anything will be an improvement from before. Strength… yeah I’m not trying to be the Hulk; just enough to be able to pull myself up easily will be adequate I think.

We’ll revisit this parkour training in a month or 2… Maybe there will be videos (if someone is around to film it). We’ll see if I fly or just fall… (hopefully the former!)